How to be Awesome

Wherever I go, people are always asking me "Evan, how is it that you are so awesome all the time?" I normally just laugh and say something awesome in response, but it is now time that I let everyone in on some secrets.
Step 1. Don't be Lame
Seriously. The most important thing to do on your way to being awesome is to not be lame. And by this, I mean don't go out with your friends and then leave for some lame reason, like "Dude, I was totally having fun hitting on hot chicks with you, but i am going to go to a party with a bunch of dudes and we are going to give each other hand-jobs." Everyone knows what being lame entails, so just don't.
Step 2. Make fun of people
This always works. When you are making fun of people, make sure they can't hear it. It is way funnier when people can't defend themselves. In fact, making fun if inanimate objects is hilarious. For example, "hey rope! Nice tensile strength! I bet you couldn't even hold up your mom!"
Step 3. Always have a comeback line
When people make fun of you and you can hear it (ie they broke step 2) have a comeback line to humiliate them, and simultaneously make you awesome. Some classics include "your mom," "your face," or "that's what she said." Try not to overuse any of these, or you will be lame.
Step 4. Get a catch phrase
People with catch phrases are cool. And people without a catch phrase are lame. If your friends know what you will say in response to situations, it means that you are awesome. For serious. But don't use my line, or I will fucking kill you.
Step 5. Pick up on lots of hot chicks
Nobody has ever said, in the history of ever, "Oh, dude, that guy is so lame, he always has a bunch of hot chicks around him." In fact, if anyone has ever said that, they should be shot. So, instead of being lame and not talking to hot chicks, go up and talk to them! In fact, start by hitting on the hottest chick you can find, and work your way down from there (more on that topic later).
Step 6. DON'T BE LAME!!!!
I know I said it already, but I left some stuff out. When your friends call and say "Hey bro, lets go do something awesome," your response should not be "sorry, I have fag practice, and am unable to attend the awesomeness." Now, it doesn't matter what your response is, but all your friends hear is "blah, blah, blah, I am lame." So, the most important thing to remember if you want to be awesome, is just don't be lame.